Monday Night Quarterback

It’s halftime of the Bear-Packer game and so no, I’m not in a good mood. What a garbage team. They don’t deserve to make the playoffs, yet every team that had to lose yesterday did, and the Bears are still playing like shit. Maybe that’s why I am reading this hippy-dippy post from Melissa Etheridge and finding it hard to take seriously. See, she met Rick Warren and…he’s a fan! (“He had most of my albums from the very first one. What? This didn’t sound like a gay hater, much less a preacher.”)

Sorry, but I am not going to be a part of the mushy liberal–wait, no you’re not going to run it straight up the middle again, are you? Thank you! A pass…TD! 14-10 Packers. I’m as sick of runs up the middle for one yard as I’m am of this whole dreamer philosophy that people like Etheridge espouse. Let me guess: she’s a Scientologist?

Whatever. “He said he regretted his choice of words in his video message to his congregation about proposition 8 when he mentioned pedophiles and those who commit incest. He said that in no way, is that how he thought about gays.”

Gosh, if he says so! Etheridge sounds like Charlie Brown right before he lined up to kick the football. Speaking of that, it’s in the 4th guarter now and the Bears are trying to tie it up. Fourth and one! Oh no, a run up the middle for…one! By a nose! Come on! Punch it in! There it is! Tie game with three minutes to play. Way too much time for this Bear defense to blow it.

Or the special teams to blow it. A horse-collar tackle out of bounds? How stupid can you be, Adrian Peterson? And so the two-minute warning comes as the Packers are well into field goal range. By the way, not a drop of booze over here for me. Just plain old reality and the misery that comes with it. Or the misery that a Bears game brings.

Here comes the FG try with 25 seconds left. Block! And so we go to OT. Unbelievable. And the Bears win! Baby Olivia demanded my attention right at the end but I saw it all with her in my arms. Ahh, now what was Melissa Etheridge saying? Peace, love and flowers? Yeah! I’m in, baby, I’m in! Thanks to the Packers for letting the Bears win, despite it all!

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