Drunken Academy Awards Recap

As usual, I only saw one or two of the movies nominated, and after a few bottles of wine and some cheese and crackers what kind of insight can I offer? Shit, I forgot to eat dinner. That much is apparent after three/four hours of Oscars, as I’m hallucinating about taking a cross-country journey with Beyonce and Nicole Kidman. All I’m saying is, Jack Nicholson better be bald for his next role because I’m not ready to eulogize the greatest actor of all time. He’s okay, right?

This has to be the first Academy Awards that I watched from start to finish, and I’m not sure why. The elephant garlic, Italian bread and port wine cheese and crackers had to have something to do with it, as did the kangaroo wine. But I thought Ellen was pretty good. I like her girlfriend too, uh huh. There’s a terrible post-show with Richard Roeper and some other guy on right now as I drink the last drops and yes, of course they gave it to Scorcese to make up for Goodfellas and Raging Bull. I haven’t seen The Departed yet but I’m sure it’s genius as usual.

Where have you gone, Roger Ebert?

I did not need to see Al Gore or his film to realize that we missed out on having a great president for the past six years. But his film won and as he said, it has nothing to do with politics, despite the pathological need of the right-wing nuts to demonize his efforts (I said that, not him). Now my girlfriend is blurting out random thoughts mid-sleep and there are cats everywhere. The wine is gone and it’s time to sleep it off.

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